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As an executive coach who has worked with many male clients, I've witnessed common patterns and behaviors that can hold men back from reaching their full potential. While these tendencies are not universal, they are prevalent enough to warrant a closer look.
Here are the top 3 ways men often undermine their success:
1. Reluctance to Ask for Help
Many men have been conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The "rugged individualist" mentality can lead you to tackle everything on your own, even when you are clearly in over your head. However, men (and women) who are willing to shift into a growth mindset and evolve their thinking quickly find that collaboration and asking for support more often are keys to achievement. Whether it's seeking advice from a mentor, delegating tasks to a team member or one of your kids, or investing in coaching for yourself, reaching out is a strength, not a weakness.
2. Avoiding Vulnerability
In our society, men are often expected to project an image of stoicism and control. Showing vulnerability can feel like an unacceptable risk. However, being vulnerable - to admit mistakes, ask for help, and share feelings - is essential for building meaningful, reliable connections and trust, both of which are vital for success. It’s interesting to note that many men have relationships with siblings and lifelong friends that can often detract vulnerability. Baby boomers and Gen X Clients were conditioned to “suck it up” and be the “strong silent type,” and that struggling to get ahead was normal. Turns out that learning to be vulnerable with the people around you will result in greater fulfillment and dependable levels of trust in your work and intimate relationships.
3. Prioritizing Ego Over Growth
Many men are strongly attached to being "right." This is your ego’s way of fortifying your identity and self-worth. Unfortunately, this can cause you to double down on losing strategies, argue unproductively, or refuse to acknowledge your weaknesses. The most successful people, on the other hand, know that the ego, left unchecked often limits your growth and builds walls with the people in your life that you need to be most connected with. Growth, happiness, and a peaceful life require lifelong learning, flexibility, and improving yourself. To have thriving relationships with other healthy and happy people, you have to be curious, be open to receiving feedback, try new approaches, and learn. Letting go of the need to be right opens the door to exponential growth, peace, and a feeling of expanded purpose.
Of course, these tendencies are not unique to men - people of all genders can struggle with these issues. However, the socialization that many men experience can make these pitfalls more prevalent.
The good news is that with awareness and practice, you can learn to overcome these self-sabotaging habits. By becoming more open to support, vulnerable, and growth-oriented, you can unlock potential and see a positive shift in your interactions with others.
To get you on a learning path, I urge you to subscribe to my YouTube and/or my Spotify channel, where you can access all episodes of Deep Work Fast sessions (all under 20 minutes), anytime, for no cost. These short videos are designed to be a quick “nugget” of ideas, tools, and concepts for you to put to use immediately.
Both of my companies, ARIA (serving leaders and teams since 1997) and AVVI (serving individuals investing in accelerated growth) are dedicated to helping YOU be the BEST you can be, in all the roles you play - at work and at home. So, don't miss these opportunities to take your life and success to the next level.